Favorite Uncle Came to Stockholm!!!

I got a call from my mother that her youngest brother - my favorite uncle - would be taking his wife to France for her 40th birthday.  I thought that was a cool, nice thing to do.  The thought crossed my mind to ask why he doesn't come to Sweden, but I didn't want to be selfish.  Then out of nowhere Mom said that she suggested he come to Stockholm to visit.  She told me to call and tell him how much it would cost.  WHAT?!  Moonk in Stockholm?  No way!

I called immediately.  Moonk is pretty laid back.  He said to look into it and let him know the details. He'd try to make it.  He didn't sound excited at all!  I didn't want to get my hopes up.  It was kind of last minute.  A trip in the middle of another trip?  Unlikely.  I looked up the prices and called Moonk.  He said call his wife Tonya.  I did and she was excited.  This might really happen!

Tonya called me the next week with flight information.  Moonk was coming to Stockholm!  She warned me that we'd better have something planned for them.  Hell yeah!  I told anyone who would listen.

       - MOONK IS COMING! MOONK IS COMING!

THURSDAY

I had booked myself a slot at Big Ben to do a set.  Moonk was going to get to see me tell some jokes!  He'd be the first member of the family to see me on stage.  It's fitting since I've been trying to make him laugh for virtually all of my life.  Now this was for real.  I had to get it right.  Moonk is not a sugar-coater at all.  If I bombed he would tell me that I wasn't funny.  No pressure!  I was nervous as can be before I went on.  As usual, the nerves went away a couple of minutes before I got on stage.  As I began my set, I noticed that Moonk was filming.  You can see what he saw here:

I felt as comfortable as ever up there.  Moonk and Tonya liked my set.  The audience was into it.  I was on cloud 9! We watched the rest of the comedians performing in English (every Thursday night at Big Ben! Check it out!) and then we left.  My homie Peter was with us and he showed Moonk and Tonya around.  They were in full-on tourist mode, so we took the scenic route back to the Slussen train station.  The first night was definitely a successful one.

FRIDAY

Friday morning we had some nice southern breakfast.  Swedie wouldn't be with us on this day and she's better at making grits than I am (believe it or not).  Moonk happily stepped up and made grits, eggs and bacon. It was like I was back at his place!  Peter came over and ate grits for the first time.  I was loving life.  The whole thing was unreal to me.  Moonk was in Sweden!  Was this really happening?  We had planned on leaving at around 11:30ish.  I guess I had been in Sweden too long.  CPT is real!  We didn't leave until 1:15pm.  That was nostalgia for me as well.  I sat around fully dressed, playing with Bash; reminiscing on all the times other members of my family moved very slowly and kept saying, "I'm bout ready!" Good times.

We finally went for a walk around the city.  Stockholm is modern and beautiful with loads of history.  My boy Peter had shown me around when I first got here, so I knew he would be a great guide for Moonk and Tonya.  They took pictures as we saw the sites downtown.  Swedie had a wedding to attend, so I was on Bash duty the entire day.  It went well.  He's still the best.  He was acting shy around Mook and Tonya until they gave him some ice cream.  Predictable!  

We got home that evening and Moonk made some delicious tuna salad.  Talk about best house guest ever!!! Then we watched a creative, yet ridiculous movie called "Unfriended".  It's about some kids that bullied a girl until she killed herself.  She haunts them for the entire movie which is shown from a computer screen.  It was dumb.  We talked shit about it throughout the film and then watched some NFL stuff (Football is almost BAACK!).  It was like we were kicking it back in Miami.  

Moonk wouldn't go get in the bed until Swedie came home safely.  He thought it was rude to do that.  He's such a gentleman.  I tried to convince him she'd be okay.  Plus I had to work in the morning and we were both falling asleep.  He refused to go to bed so I left his ass laid out. 

The TV watched him until Swedie made it back from the wedding.  She couldn't get him to wake up. He eventually got up and got in bed.  I guess Stockholm was wearing him out.

SATURDAY

I couldn't focus at work.  I wanted to get back to my family that I still couldn't believe were in Sweden.  I texted Swedie and she said she didn't think they would ever wake up.  Ah, Moonk.  Bash went in to check on them and Moonk snatched him up into the bed.  I think he will have nightmares about that moment for the next six months.  Ah, Moonk.  Swedie eventually rounded up the troops and met me in the city.  We would go to Djurgârden to check out Vasa Museum.  I had told them the story of it on Friday and they wanted to check it out.  

 First things first, we stopped by the sports bar O'Leary's.  Moonk loved it there.  There were appetizers and wings and mixed drinks.  He had missed places like this.  He raved about the wings and was confused by the alcohol measurements.

       - Four centiliters?
       - It's like a shot.  They measure it here.
       - Well let me get eight, then.  Double it.

I learned that O'Leary's doesn't go higher than six centiliters.  Thanks Moonk!  We got the drink with six centiliters and it was perfect.  

We went to Vasa Museum and marveled at this huge ship that sunk back in the 1600s.  The museum is nice.  Moonk and Tonya liked it.  They took a lot of pictures. We couldn't go onto the boat, though. That would have been even nicer.  

For some reason I was concerned about going out to the club with Moonk and Tonya.  It's like I forgot who I was dealing with!  Moonk takes me out when I go home, so what was I worried about?!  I asked around for advice and one friend of mine said she never thinks about age or the dynamic of the group when she goes out.  That's all I needed to hear.  When I talked to Moonk he was like:

       - Hell yeah we gonna go out!  Let's get this party started!

He might be 46, but he's still got that party in him.  Tonya was ready to party as well.  I had us on the list for a party (shout out to Hammertime) and the pregame began.  Moonk had requested Malibu, so we already had it on deck.  We had bought some pear ciders for Tonya.  Moonk took a liking to the cider as well.  We refilled on the ciders and prepared for the club.  Moonk mixed Malibu and pear cider.  He called it "Cider Boo".  I love that man!  Cider Boo was good. We had some drinks and waited for Tonya to get ready (CPT is really real).  Moonk warmed up for the club by breaking off some original dance moves.

He normally doesn't fall like that, but he even did that gracefully.  In his defense, that part of the floor is extra slippery.  That spin was sick, though!  You should see him go.  Moonk gets down on the dance floor!

The club was fun.  We toasted the night in with vodka cranberries and went straight to the dance floor.  We didn't leave.  My boys Amat and Hasan partied with us the whole night.  The music was good.  The place was turnt up the entire night.  Tonya was sweating like a stuck pig and Moonk was dancing like a maniac.  The highlight of the night was when a group of young black dudes took over the dance floor.  They made a circle and took turns jumping in and doing dances.  Moonk was fascinated by the scene.  Guys in Miami don't dance unless they're grinding up on a lady or doing a little two-step with a drink in hand.  These guys were going all out!

       - I want to get in there!

       - What?!

       - I'ma get in there!

       - Go!

One of the guys on the outside of the circle noticed Moonk trying to push his way in.

       - Let him in!

The guy tapped some dudes on the shoulder and made way for Moonk.  He got in the middle of the circle and started dancing and spinning.  The place was bananas!  Moonk made his way out of the circle and came up to me.

       - I got in that shit!  You seen me?  I did that shit!

Ah, I was on cloud nine.  Moonk was partying in Stockholm like only he can.  The rest of the night was fun.  More drinks, more dancing.  We shut the place down and went home.

Sunday

We had discussed the possibility of having Moonk on the podcast.  The guys were concerned that our listeners wouldn't understand him.  Moonk has a Miami accent and he kind of mumbles when he talks.  I grew up with him, so I've never had an issue.  Peter had needed many things repeated over the weekend.  We decided to give it a go.  

It was cool!  Moonk came in and kicked it with us in the studio.  The episode is coming soon (there's one fully English episode every month) and I can't wait for our listeners to hear from the man that helped raise me.

We had organized for our friends to come over for a "Kräftskiva" (Crayfish Party).  Crayfish parties are a Swedish tradition. You basically put on bibs and hats, fill a bucket with some craw daddies, set out some side dishes, get your list of shot songs, have your shots ready (traditionally it's nasty ass schnapps) and you've got a "Kräftskiva".  Moonk was excited to experience the tradition.  He put on his bib and learned how to properly shell a craw daddy.  He enjoyed it.  Tonya was tearing up some craw daddies as well. We sang a bunch of the shot songs (unfortunately I forgot to buy schnapps) and toasted when necessary. It was a great last day for my aunt and uncle.  

Moonk and Tonya had to leave early Monday morning.  It was back to France for them.  I was sad to see them leave, but glad that they came to see how their nephew is doing across the pond.  I'm doing alright, Moonk.  I really didn't expect anyone from my family to make the trip here besides the ones who've been already.  It's a long way and it's just not something I think my people would put high on their list of priorities.  I'm so glad I was wrong.  One of the most influential people in my life came here and was actually in my home!  He played with my son and tolerated my dog.  Moonk was in Sweden!  I'll never forget that glorious weekend.  Until next time...